On Transplants

by F.

A somewhat deflating UPI story picked up on physorg describes how penis transplants can go wrong:

“Because of a severe psychological problem of the recipient and his wife, the transplanted penis regretfully had to be cut off,” said Dr. Weilie Hu.

More throbbing, engorged details can be found on Yahoo:

“The patient finally decided to give up the treatment because of the wife’s psychological rejection, as well as the swollen shape of the transplanted penis” Hu added.

Imagine the discussion in the bedroom after poor Mr. Leong (not his real name) got home:

Wife: “It’s weird looking.”
Husband: “But you said you wanted me to get a new one.”
W: “But not like that. That’s the most raggedy-ass johnson I’ve ever seen.”
H: “I think it’s fine.”
W: “It is so totally not fine.
H: “But I just got home from the hospital. And the game’s on. Do I really have to go back and return it?”
W: “I’m not sleeping with that thing next to me. Uh-uh.”
H: “Fine. (Sighing) I’ll take it back.”

How did this poor guy end up without a ding-dong in the first place? It got torn off in a car accident, according to this story in The Guardian:

The incident left the man with a 1cm-long stump with which he was unable to urinate or have sexual intercourse. “His quality of life was affected severely,” said Dr Weilie Hu, a surgeon at Guangzhou General Hospital.

That’s probably an understatement. On an entirely unrelated note, check out this picture of a big geoduck. Scroll down a bit to see it and its exultant captor.