Banana Buying Fundamentals

by F.

I’m not very good at shopping for bananas. The following advice (from my spouse) may be of use to others on fructuous shopping trips.

I know you are not a big banana-eater, and therefore not a big banana-buyer, but I wanted to pass along some banana buying fundamentals for those occasions when you buy bananas for me:

1. bananas should have a little bit of green around the stem

2. bananas should not have many, if any, visible brown spots on the peel — this is key —

3. bananas should not come with any bonus spiders — this is REALLY key —

Please note that all of these fundamentals were violated in your last purchase. To my surprise, a little hitchhiking spider got a ride into my office, where it crawled along my papers and caused me to scream, to the amusement of those in my little corner of the office, and to my shame.

Please take note of these fundamentals for future reference.

I thought the spider was sort of like the little prize in the cereal box. Oh well.